Calair Icebrook (calair) wrote in shinyshinyelves,
Calair Icebrook

In which Jagrinth is pleased with herself

hey everybody! its Jagrinth agane. it feels like its been ages sins i talkd to you last evun thogh its only been a few days but lots of stuff happend.

well we were in the bandit town and wed burnd it down and set fire to the mine and kild everything. so that was good. we wer in an inn and then ther was a rumbly noise louder than my tummy.

Bish: “Dwarf, when we were in the mine, which way did the tunnels go?”
Rollo: “Down.”

the rumbly noise was from the ground under us so we thot wed better go. Bish jumpd out the window and that lookd like fun next time i want to do that. but this time i went out the door. we were out side.

then there was a reelly loud rumbly noise and the ground went crash. there was lots of steem coming up from the lake so we ran away. only there was lots of steem everywhere so we didunt now wich way to run.

Rollo: “My hair! It's going to be stinky for weeks!”

then the lake made a blurping noise. i thot the small ones mite get lost so i went back to carry them but then i got lost with Osborne Jackson. then Bish yelled were going that way but i couldnt see which way. then Bish yelled flap your wings if you understand and i was confused becos i didn't have wings. then there was a bee and osborne said not to kill it. it was a big bee. it flew off. so i put on the ring of cromulence and lifted up Osboren from the fog and he said wed come around in a circle and we were back at the mine. so we went away and found everybody again.

well the valey was filling up with lots of mist from the lake. so we desided to go back to the village and get our money for killing the bandits becos it wasnt our fault they were already dead when we got there. so we were heading back and then Gretel said ew becos shed stepped in dinosaur poo.

then there was skwawking and it sounded like reely big chikuns but it was better than that it was dinosaurs. ther were four of them and they wer a bit bigger than me. and also there was a flying one that tried to eet Rollo. oh I forgot to menshun Rollo turned himself into an albatross so he could fly. and he pecked the flying one wen it tride to eat him. i swang my chane around but it kept getting tanguld in trees. but evenshuly I wacked one of them.

Osborne: “Hey, check out my slug, it's big and furry!”

then after i wacked it Bish stabd it and Martin shot it but it was stil trying to eet us. Rollo skwawked at the flying one and it flew away wich was a bit of a pity but there was still plenty to eat with the other ones. so I wacked one agane and it went splatter and I hit another one as well. one of them tried to bite me but it only got my armor. then Gretel fride one of them with a brite light and Bish and Rollo killed one and I wallopd the last one and Gretel fride it agane.

so we had four ded dinosors to eat. and I yelled OGRE OGRE OGRE!!! OI OI OI!!!

Jagrinth: “My great-uncle ate his own head in a dream. He woke up and found he hadn't got a head any more... well, that's what they told me.”

then Rollo was skwawking ahed of us and i thot he wanted sum meet so i thre him a bit. maybe slitely too much. so he fel out of the sky and we went to him and hed found the rode. sometims dwarfs are ackshuly quite clevur.

so we went back to town and the townsfolk were yelling and i thot they were angry with us but they wernt! they were happy becos the bandits were ded and we had a big party and wen I started to sing they sed they had a speshul place for ogurs to sing down on the beach outside town and I did. i like to sing wen im hapy and wen im bored but this tiem i was hapy.

then next day i had a bit of a hedache. i think there may have bene some ael invloved. and there was a bel witch was reely quite loud. we went to the town square and peepul were worreed becos the mountane was rumbling.

Rollo: “I'll tell the townsfolk that it's the mountain shivering in delight that the bandits are gone.”

and then the mare made a speach. it was a reely nise speech and he sayed how gud we all wer to kil the bandits et setera. and he gave us a big bag of gold but then a ginormous rock fel on him and skwashed him flat. we looked up and there was a DRAGON in the sky it was red with black smudgy bits. i think it was cross.

so i had an idea. and i yelled hey you stupid dragon ive got a big bag of gold here!! and the dragon came down and breethed fire at me. but i had my reely big sheeld out and it was hot but it didunt burn me. and i moovd away from the crowd so there was only one person got burnd i dont know his name. some vilager.

and Gretel made bish fly and he threw a magic net at the dragon wen it was flying strate at me and it crashed into me but didunt nock me over. so i dropd the sheeld and put on my ring so i was encromulated and i grabd the dragun and put it in a full nelson. and evrybody wallopd it. and it tride to get away but it didnt. Osborne made it freeze and it dide. i broke its neck to make shure.

and the town peeple were still hapy with us! only two of them were ded and no bildings knockd over or burnd which is reely pretty good. and they gave us a shiny braselut that makes you brethe underwater. and they sed theyd send a letur to the other town telling them how good we are.

then we thot if the dragon came from the bandit town maybe therd be treshur there. so we went back. i got a new sheeld first. and the lake was almost vanished becos it went into the mine. i garded the mine entranse and evrybody else went in and they got atached by status and Bish neerly dide but he didunt. and there was lots of treshur from evrybody! aparuntly sumbody had keeped the dragun as a pet in the mine and wen we set fire to the mine it collapsed and the dragon got out and it was very angry with us.

but it wasnt very clever so i tricked it and grabd it so we coud all kill it. im prety smart that way.
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